My New Life

I have a new life now. I have a new life now. And saying it out loud is surreal. I left Florida. The state where I was born and raised. I did something crazy, something no one in my family has done, I left the state! And while I have both positive and negative things to say about South Florida,  that was another life. Another me. I am a different person now. I can feel it.

I’ve been here for just under 10 days but my old life seems an eternity away. I’m not quite certain how I lived the life I did for so long. On a treadmill, not growing. Pursuing endeavors half assed because they fell short of my passion. I didnt really feel motivated by anything.

In contrast, now I wake up with passion, with purpose. This week was my first week of law school. Where I live the dream I’ve had since I was a child. It seems naive and idealistic, but it is amazing to know… that even after everything I’ve been through.. the short cuts, the scenic route, the off streets… I still ended up where I knew I wanted to be.

My first week has been pretty challenging. I’ve missed out on many social events with my peers. I’ve struggled with keeping up with my courses, fighting off my nerves when I get called on in class… and even though its early in the semester, I’m not getting a whole lot of sleep. At first it was because of an imagined spider invasion in my apartment, then fear of getting singled out in class… and alas fears of inadequacy and falling behind.  I’m still  learning my way around this new city. The mountains are breath-taking.

I’ve also met other parents here in the city during Parent Teacher association meeting for trooper’s school. HE starts school next week and I intend to be very active in the local school.

All in all I feel like I’m finally on the right path. Where so many decisions in my life are making sense. I feel blessed by the universe. I would not change a single thing. Not trooper, not my choice of school, location,  not my past, not my relationships, including my decisions to start and end them.

School totally kicked my ass this week but I’m grateful, so fucking grateful.

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